Who's the judge

[bornstoryteller]

A judge found to be suffering from bipolar disorder is summoned to appear before a parliamentary hearing to argue why he should be allowed to continue in his job.

[mscherer]

Kevin,

Here is my take on what should be in a logline:
1. Protagonist.
2. Antagonist.
3. Situation.
4. Stakes.

Your logline seems to have the following:
1. Protagonist: bipolar judge.
2. Antagonist: I’m guessing parliament (ie. parliamentary hearing).
3. Situation: summoned to appear before a parliamentary hearing
4. Stakes: lose his job.

Two things about the logline bother me:
1. The antagonist is not a specific person. The audience needs to hate or dislike the antagonist. Parliament is too general. Focus on one particular Member of Parliament that has an axe to grind with your hero.
2. The stakes are weak. It’s not the end of the world if he loses his seat on the bench. The audience needs to care about your protagonist and the only way, or at least one of the ways, to do that is through the stakes of the story. Make your audience care what happens to this judge. Right now, I don’t think the audience will care either way.

Hope this helps and always,

Keep Writing!

[Deleted]

I would have to agree with Mike.

Honestly, it sounds a tad boring to watch. I envision people sitting in a room talking for two hours. While that CAN work (12 ANGRY MEN), there was more at stake in that movie than in your current logline.

[attatt]

is this a comedy or what? One thing I cannot get out of that logline is what genre this movie fits into, and that's not always important, but this could either be really wacky or totally dramatic. I think you should hint at which way you are leaning and that will automatically make the logline more interesting