Logline for in the vein of KNOCKED UP &HANGOVER

[Megan]

My boyfriend and I came up this and we wrote a fast draft this weekend.

Is the logline decent?

TITLE: UNDERGROUND CARRIE

A Lindsay Lohan wannabe wants to go to the prom badly but lives in trailer home community. No money. Parents on welfare. Sister a crack-pimp. She secretly webcams her swinging parents having risque bedroom adventures with the Welfare Officer and blackmails them.

Megan

[mscherer]

Megan,

If you are serious about this as a viable script, then here is my take on your logline:

There is no antagonist. No one for the audience to hate.

There are no stakes. Not being able to go to the prom is not a credible stake. The audience will not care, so the stakes of your story need to be more life and death either physically or psychologically.

Bottom line: your logline, as written, does not describe a movie an audience will care about. Add an antagonist and give us stakes to care about.

One man’s opinion. Mileage may vary. Batteries not included.