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Post by mydoggeorge on Apr 7, 2011 8:32:33 GMT -5
Trying to figure out a logline I have for a screenplay that I want to write. Don't even know the name of the screenplay yet. I was thinking maybe - Postal or Dysfunction or  Anyway - here is the logline. It could definitely use help. I'm also torn as to whether it would be a good story. A Chef/Restaurateur must deal with hiring her brother, a recently released inmate, and the consequences of the aftermath he leaves behind when his sociopathic tendencies take over leading him to go postal on her staff. Any help would be greatly appreciate. Thanks |
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joea
Junior Member
Posts: 76
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Logline
Apr 7, 2011 11:08:31 GMT -5
Post by joea on Apr 7, 2011 11:08:31 GMT -5
Trying to figure out a logline I have for a screenplay that I want to write. Don't even know the name of the screenplay yet. I was thinking maybe - Postal or Dysfunction or Anyway - here is the logline. It could definitely use help. I'm also torn as to whether it would be a good story. A Chef/Restaurateur must deal with hiring her brother, a recently released inmate, and the consequences of the aftermath he leaves behind when his sociopathic tendencies take over leading him to go postal on her staff. Any help would be greatly appreciate. Thanks I think the story has potential. It's sort of Mean Streets in a restaurant. The one story problem you'll have to work out is why -- if she knows her brother has sociopathic tendencies -- she decides to hire him. Why wouldn't she have strict conditions that made "firing" him a simple matter once he started acting up? There really haven't been that many good/authentic movies made about restaurants. This Anthony Bourdain article talks about that. popwatch.ew.com/2011/03/03/anthony-bourdain-foodie-films/ Your logline contains many of the requisite elements but is just kind of long. My (so so, at best) attempt: After her brother is released from prison, a restauranteur gives him a job but lives to regret it when his sociopathic tendencies start causing havoc.I'm not a big fan of the two titles you propose but I am flat awful at thinking of movie titles. As you do your research into the restaurant business and cooking something will probably occur to you. Broiler, maybe. Though that's a bit obvious. |
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Logline
Apr 7, 2011 11:20:02 GMT -5
Post by mscherer on Apr 7, 2011 11:20:02 GMT -5
Think you are pretty darn close on this one. But let me suggest:
A rookie restaurateur goes against her instincts and hires her ex-con brother then struggles to deal with the consequences of his sociopathic tendencies.
Would be good to know more about the sister and brother and their relationship before he went to prison.
Keep Writing!
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Logline
Apr 7, 2011 12:40:55 GMT -5
Post by mydoggeorge on Apr 7, 2011 12:40:55 GMT -5
Joea - thanks for the input. I figured that she knows that he's been to prison but has no clue to his sociopath behaviors until he starts working at the restaurant. Maybe it could be like a double edged type scenario where she hire him because a long time ago - he killed the Mom's lover (not their Dad) because he was secretly raping the sister. She feels compelled to help him out after he gets out of prison, but then the shit hits the grill (sorry couldn't resist) and she ends up being sorry for hiring him.
Mike - The logline you propose is short and concise. I do plan to dig into the relationship between the two.
You guys have given me a big boost in the right direction. I appreciate it.
p.s. - thanks for the link Joea.
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