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Post by cdoza16 on Feb 2, 2011 19:24:57 GMT -5
After the death of his parents, a college aged boy escapes to his parent’s vineyard home during the offseason where he falls for an island “house hopper,” but their love is haunted by a group of islanders attempting to maintain the offseason island code.
Let me know what you think!
All forms of criticism would be much appreciated.
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marc
Full Member
Posts: 133
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Post by marc on Feb 2, 2011 20:09:35 GMT -5
I think it's very good. Not much there to criticize. Minor thing: Maybe the word 'haunted' feels a little too spooky. Like if these islander-guys where ghosts or so...
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Post by delson9030 on Feb 2, 2011 21:51:17 GMT -5
This might be nitpicky but I think you could be more specific than "college aged" and I agree to change "haunted" to a more appropriate word. Otherwise, it's all good!
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Post by cdoza16 on Feb 3, 2011 10:15:02 GMT -5
Thanks for the replies! How about if I got more descriptive and change college aged to ivy league standout, and haunted to threatened?
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Post by delson9030 on Feb 3, 2011 12:28:17 GMT -5
Sounds good to me!
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