Pick of the Week (POW) October 24, 2010: Aether

[mscherer]

Here we go, my peeps. Yet another POW.

www.sendspace.com/file/v9ad8c

If anyone has a script they want for next week's POW, drop me a line at: [e-mail].

Keep Writing and Reading!

[Latka]

I am not a big fan of this type of film and whilst I really enjoyed the script, getting my head around the concept of mechs and the messiah chip took some time.

Some things that occured to me as I read it:

• I may have missed this, but is there an explanation as to why Rikker works in London, how he came to be in the UK?
  
• I would have liked to see a scene with Rikker confronting Gabanni, maybe near the end prior to him going to STI.
  
• On page 91 the compad initially has “LIEUTENANT CARTER.” on the display, but when he rings again it reads “LIEUTENANT NORM
  CARTER.” I know this is only a small thing, but thought it might be helpful.
  
• I really liked the last scene and not knowing Rikker's decision.
  

I hope these comments are useful.

[dwight]

Now that's a mutha flippin screenplay!!! Thanks napolyphonic (or mr. york). I'm definitely inspired, This was excellent.

I just watched blade runner again a month ago.. so i automatically meshed the two.

I feel this script is definitely good to go, pacing read like a film, and flowed nicely. Hhere are some not too necessary notes...

V.O. ehh, take it or leave it in my opinion. With it, it gave the story an artsy Noir feel, which is alright. but seemed like filler in certain cases.

I'd like to see more Reji, she's this perfect mech (could have misinterpreted that), but you have your 'fifth element' potential leading lady. So there's potential for larger role for her with more involvement

And just taking a producer's stance... more random action/gun play scenes would only add to the entertainment. But hey.. sell it first then juice that up hehe .

But as a spec script. This is very strong. Congrats on quarterfinalisting.. i enjoyed this fun read.

[jimmy7]

Just back from holiday.
Is this the same version as the one i commented on a few weeks ago or is it a more recent draft?

[napolyphonic]

It's the latest draft.

And thanks everyone for the critique/praise. It's all very good.

-G