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Post by cwillgowrite on Oct 12, 2010 19:00:10 GMT -5
Something new I'm working on... Am I on the right path?
A 'by the book' FBI agent and her rugged rancher guide track a murderous cult across the Great Plains.
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Post by mscherer on Oct 14, 2010 9:58:07 GMT -5
cwillgowrite,
Alright, you gotta ask yourself at least four (4) questions when developing a logline:
1. Who is my protagonist?
2. Who is my antagonist?
3. What is the situation?
4. What are the stakes?
What I see here is the following:
1. Protagonist: by-the-book FBI agent.
2. Antagonist: cult? Cult leader?
3. Situation: track a murderous cult across the Great Plains.
4. Stakes: Unknown.
In addition, the phrase ‘… across the Great Plains…’ tends to place your story in the Old West and I don’t think that is what you meant or want.
Another issue that comes to mind: how difficult would it be to track ‘…a murderous cult…’? The word cult implies a large group of people, which wouldn’t be too difficult to locate and follow. Just a thought.
Here would be my take on this:
A by-the-book FBI agent tracks the leader of a murderous cult, who has kidnapped her daughter, across the desolate south west.
Keep Writing!
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