Single Rider

[Latka]

Hi,

This is my first post here, but I have been reading the forum for a while.

I'm working on an idea that would have the following logline:

As per the final request of his departed wife, a young widower must embark on a transatlantic journey to scatter her ashes among their favourite shared location; a themed ride at an amusement park

I would appreciate any feedback on this as a logline.

Thanks in advance

[speakingofsegues]

Trademark and whatnot issues aside, I like this. Though I'm curious to see how you would stretch this into an entire feature that would be compelling enough to keep us entertained, I must say that the idea itself does have me intrigued.

My attempt:

"As per the final request of his departed wife, a young widower must embark on a cross-country journey to scatter her ashes among their favourite shared location; a themed ride at an amusement park."

Good luck!

[Latka]

Thank you for your feedback, it is very much appreciated.

I have amended the original logline taking into account your comments.

The idea in a nutshell is that eight months after the funeral the widower, Sam, finds a DVD from his wife, Victoria, which sets him the task of scattering the ashes. Sam, reluctantly at first, travels to the theme park from the UK and whilst riding the themed ride over and over catches the eye of a ride operator, Ellen. They become friends, hanging out together and during a night out, they kiss. Sam freaks out about this and Ellen misconstrues it as the fact that he is married. Sam eventually tells Ellen everything and she helps him with the task.

[mscherer]

Latka,

My first inclination -- turn this into a thriller. Here would be my take:

Sam, finds a DVD from his wife, Victoria, which sets him the task of scattering the ashes. Sam reluctantly travels around European and US theme parks and discovers facts along the way that reveal his wife lived a double life: housewife and jewel thief.

Logline:
Honoring the final request of his departed wife, a young widower embarks on an international journey to scatter her ashes near their favorite theme park rides only to discover his wife’s past and the enemies she made during her secret career as a jewel thief.

Some place to start as you

Keep Writing!

[Latka]

Thanks mscherer,

That's given me a bit to think about. Maybe his wife should have a secret and the reason to send him on the mission is so that he fulfills something from her past.

More food for thought.

Thanks for your suggestion.