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Post by lizzo1014 on Jul 3, 2010 18:50:43 GMT -5
SAINT JEAN: "A former A-list actress goes on the hunt for the people who ruined her career including her former agent, her former manager, a powerful studio head and a gossip columnist"
Happy Independence Day!
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Post by mscherer on Jul 3, 2010 19:44:10 GMT -5
lizzo1014,
In honor of the Fourth of July I will get on my soapbox and make my logline speech:
A logline should express the following:
1. The protagonist.
2. An antagonist.
3. The situation.
4. The stakes.
Unfortunately, in this logline I don’t see any stakes. If the former A-list actress doesn’t get revenge -- who cares? What is the worse thing that will happen? You need to express that one thing that will make your audience root for the protagonist.
Also, who is the antagonist? Is it the former A-list actress? Is she her own worst enemy? That’s one possibility. But a better choice would be to pick one person as the Bad Guy:
1. The former agent?
2. The former manager?
3. The powerful studio head?
4. The gossip columnist?
Having her go after ALL of them makes her seem like a person who blames everyone for her misfortune, makes her a whiner, a complainer, etc. Picking one antagonist makes her seem reasonable. Someone the audience can root for.
End Fourth of July logline speech.
As always... this is one man’s opinion. Mileage may vary. Batteries not included.
Happy Fourth!
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Post by lizzo1014 on Jul 4, 2010 15:14:24 GMT -5
You're absolutely right. This idea is still halfbaked, but thanks for the logline reminder.
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Post by patricks on Jul 6, 2010 14:50:28 GMT -5
You'll also want the logline to reflect the genre, if possible. This could be a comedy (my first guess), but also a slasher flick, a gritty actioner a la Payback or Taken, or maybe even a drama. As you hone the logline, try to bring out the genre; i.e., a 'wacky revenge scheme' can't be anything but a comedy. Hope that helps. Patrick Sweeney I Blame Ninjas |
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