Out of the Bottle/Rom-Com/Buddy movie...

[lazzard]

At least I think it is.

I've been sweating over this logline for an age ( the scripts up in Finished Drafts - plus exerpts in 'Entire Acts') but I thought I'd try this on you guys.

The Wrong Mrs Calloway

Unable to function without his recently desceased wife, flaky ad-man Matt Calloway persuades an angel to bring back her back - only he brings back the wrong one. Forced to spend the week-end with his feisty first wife, things go from bad to worse when they run into the gangland boss who 'thought' he'd killed her.

Take it away, guys!

[czachcross]

Sounds funny. It's clear what the story is about and what the humorous conflicts are in the story.

[mscherer]

Lazzard,

I've read the first act -- great stuff. Funny stuff. But I think the logline is a tad too long and complicated (IMHO).

I think mentioning the gangland boss just complicates things too much (as far as the logline goes) as the core story is hilarious on its own. That said, here is my feeble attempt at a logline:

After the death of his second wife, a flaky ad-man persuades an angel to bring back his dead spouse only to discover the angel has screwed up and brought back the wrong woman, forcing him to spend an awkward weekend with his feisty first wife.

Cheers, and
Keep Writing!

[lazzard]

Yes, keep thinking that missing out the plot twist/reversal is the way to go, as the basic concept has got a fair bit of sizzle already.
Just mindful of a recent post that remined us not to hold back information in the log.
The whole things up now, BTW.

Thanks, as ever

[dwight]

Fun interesting logline.. I'll have to give it a read.

My only thoughts on the logline are...

the word "flaky" seems too general. If the protag "flakes out" of things 90% of the movie, and it's his reoccurring theme, then I say by all means keep it and maybe mention the key flake moment of the movie.. But when I read the word, i was thinking well how flaky? like missed his wifes bday, funeral, his flaky-ness got his wife killed, is it even necessary?

Just a thought.

And mike made a good point about it going long with the mention of the gangster.

[lazzard]

I think in the UK we use 'flaky' in a slightly different way, something more along the lines of 'dissolute' rather than hopeless - so it's probably not the best word.
I just want to be sure people realise that he is a guy who needs to learn a lesson/change - otherwise, when they learn his wifes recently died they might be too sympathetic towards him.

Thanks for ongoing input - and it would be great if you get a chance to take a look at it!

Larry

[emhoward]

I love the potential conflict there's certainly plenty of opportunities for comedy. As far as the logline goes it seems okay to me.

Good luck.