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Post by Rob on Apr 11, 2010 18:33:42 GMT -5
An unemployed travel agent discovers an untapped lucrative market in the Alien travel business after he accidentally saves an Alien from government agents.
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tous
Full Member
Posts: 106
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Post by tous on Apr 12, 2010 0:27:18 GMT -5
I really like this. Like Men in Black.
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Post by trellicktower on Apr 12, 2010 5:55:42 GMT -5
I'm interested in hearing more!
Why is the alien running from government agents? How does that play into the story?
Does the guy just keep running his alien tourism business forever, or does he realize it's more trouble than he thought?
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Post by brianhaas on Apr 13, 2010 10:58:08 GMT -5
Interesting premise, but I think the logline needs work to really sing. You have presented a situation, but not a movie there. What's the problem? Right now, the alien would have to be the protagonist as he's the only one in your logline with any sort of conflict.
What does the protag want? What's standing in his/her way? What is the main conflict of this movie?
I think you definitely have the seeds for a great story there. The logline just needs a little work.
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Post by waltkurtz on Apr 13, 2010 19:16:43 GMT -5
@brianhass makes a great point. There's no conflict or problem revealed by your logline.
I'm also curious as to whether the travel involved is intercontinental or intergalactic.
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Post by Jeff Messerman on Apr 19, 2010 21:15:30 GMT -5
I'm probably too forgiving of loglines, primarily because I'm so rotten at doing them.
Still, I think, at times, just a simple strong concept in a logline will suffice. That holds true especially for sci-fi and comedy...
...and that's what we have here. I read this and "saw" it in my mind right away. You had me at "travel agent" and "alien travel biz." I was like, 'say no more, done deal, dig it.'
So, yeah, sounds like a winner. If I saw that description in TV Guide, I'd be programming my DVR right off.
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Post by jonnyhopper on May 6, 2010 5:41:51 GMT -5
Hello (first post on the boards)!
This looks like a great setup, but perhaps you could expand on the "Saves the alien from government agents" I think - presumably the alien is on the run? Did he do something wrong? Even if he didn't, why are the govt. agents after him?
The unemployed travel agent should then get drawn into an "unfamiliar world of intrigue and danger" or something (but less cheesy), I would imagine.
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Post by mscherer on May 7, 2010 17:28:40 GMT -5
Rob.
I think it might benefit you to read Clifford D. Simak's novel, Way Station
A brief summary...
"... a U.S. agent tracks down stories about Enoch Wallace that prove he is 124 years old, the last survivor of the Civil War, though in appearance he is perhaps 30. We soon learn Enoch's secret: he was chosen by aliens to operate a way station of their interstellar teleportation network. Earth is not yet ready for membership in the Galactic co-fraternity of races, so Enoch must keep his station secret."
Hope it helps as you,
Keep Writing.
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