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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2010 13:47:29 GMT -5
@songs...Never a boss, just a co-collaborator!
The vision I originally had consisted of having a movie told in sixty second segments. No two pages from one writer would touch. So in your example, Narrative 4 would never have four pages in a row.
The big question is will it work? Will it be too chopped up? Will the reader/viewer get too confused as to what is happening? Can we as writers make each page so enthralling, dramatic, and intense that everyone can still follow what is happening to five different stories woven within themselves?
That was the original idea and the idea of why there had to be such strict structure. Can it be changed? Of course! I love brainstorming and trying new things. If it doesn't work, we change it.
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Post by songswithoutwords on Mar 26, 2010 0:11:40 GMT -5
Ok. I didn't fully understand that. But it's worth a go!! So I will structure each page as a scene, or if only part of a scene then I will put a little cliff-hanger at the end of each page :-)
This is going to be tough... great challenge!
I am going to be the slow one here, I can tell already. While Peter plans to have his pages ready next week, I am probably only able to get my outline by then. However just finished a new draft of my own project and so I will still try as much as possible to meet the date.
Still committed!!
Been thinking about the alpha male problem. Had an idea for another approach for me.
brain, as a Canadian, do you remember the show "The Littlest Hobo"? Bloody theme song still in my head 25 years later....
What about a story about animals. In an animal shelter. No humans. How they respond.
My other story, the crime one, seems so contrived.... been getting less and less comfortable with it.
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tonym
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Post by tonym on Mar 26, 2010 10:47:48 GMT -5
My other story, the crime one, seems so contrived.... been getting less and less comfortable with it. The only contrived aspect is the location. If you change the bank to a Starbucks or a pawn shop or pharmacy - anything but a bank - you'll be good to go, IMO. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2010 11:21:39 GMT -5
@songs. I am an American that moved to Canada in '07. I missed The Littlest Hobo, but I can tell you everything about In the Night Garden, because my 16 month old loves it. The BinkyBonk and NinkyNonk, Iggle Piggle, and Maka Paka.
Actually the CBC is great for kids shows. They are always educational and the best part...no commercials!
I also like the idea of the heist. It is a nice twist. I would agree that a different location can make the difference.
Don't worry about being slow. I threw out a goal, not a "we will cut off your fingertips if you don't submit by" date. I may not make it either.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2010 12:48:45 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2010 8:46:00 GMT -5
Well we passed the goal of April 5th. As Mike says. Keep Writing!
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Post by mscherer on Apr 7, 2010 10:16:19 GMT -5
You folks are experimenting -- goals will be missed. The important thing is that the work goes forward and at some point in time it will all mesh together nicely.
Get'er Done!
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Post by dwight on Apr 7, 2010 13:14:39 GMT -5
Oh we did say April 5th didn't we. Well i've got my rough draft written pretty close to the formula. But i need to clean it up a lot. I had a thought that we should make something that shoots like a quality short on its own. And then mesh them, because the 1 minute pieces of the story wont work for mine at the moment. But i think we'll have a better idea once we see what we're working with.
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Post by songswithoutwords on Apr 7, 2010 13:49:16 GMT -5
How are you doing on your bit, brain? Mine is :-(
Running low on energy lately, but still committed. Can't bear the idea that the rest of you would deliver and I would let you down.
Once I start, I will
Keep Writing
(hadda get that in since Mike forgot)
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2010 8:52:51 GMT -5
Work has been insane and my 17 month old has entered her terrible two's early. I am committed to the project but time is very limited at the moment. I have started my first draft but I am only a few pages in.
Just keep writing. We will chip away at it a little at a time. I know we are all really busy.
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Post by mscherer on Apr 8, 2010 10:53:54 GMT -5
Team,
Don't let the deadline drive you crazy (crazier??) ;D
There are enough pressures in your daily lives: take a deep breath; relax; prioritize. This is an experiment, after all, and there are no producers breathing down your necks eager to read your draft and offer you notes.
No worries -- do it right. The only pressure is to
Keep Writing!
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Post by dwight on Apr 16, 2010 3:55:14 GMT -5
Well here's a first draft of mine. Definitely tough to get the 1 minutes (1 page) for each scene down... so i definitely cheated a bit. But once stories are messed together i think the rules will be bent a bit.. Let me know what you think. I was just treating it as a short when i wrote it. It's definitely a challenge to compress it down so much, descriptions are quite often sacrificed. 9.0 - Angerwww.sendspace.com/file/trahie8-9-2010 update |
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Post by songswithoutwords on Apr 19, 2010 15:07:23 GMT -5
Well here's a first draft of mine. ... Let me know what you think. Oh crap, that's pretty good. I'd never have thought that someone could produce something so close to specification which reads so naturally. Shows it can be done -- well done! Hard to imagine what to suggest. One thing I would have liked to see is Grant's anger playing out. Seems the 'anger management' scene exists to expose that he has a problem and his family helps him to control it. What do you think of this approach instead: He's at home and he gets a phone call from work. Some junior kid has screwed up his deal. He gets angry, borderline violent, and we see his wife talk him straight out of it. Another thing is that he could get angry at Harris, but this time control himself on his own. Because he doesn't have his family to do it for him anymore. Those are just some initial thoughts. Not really convinced these thoughts are right for your piece. Just a couple of first ideas on how to show Grant's struggle during this, his ultimate test. In short, it's great. My own output has been something similar to this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlh-sy92rYs(except so far I have fewer characters worked out) |
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Post by dwight on Apr 19, 2010 22:27:24 GMT -5
Thanks Songs. Glad it read naturally.
I had a friend and Scherer also mention having stronger/earlier conflict to show the anger. I love the idea of having his wife talk him down, that will definitely be an excellent way to show the wife's character.
ps that video is awesome haha.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2010 22:54:59 GMT -5
I like it. It is much better than mine but I am still hacking away.
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